i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
