Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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