I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize