im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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