I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
