I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
