I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
