I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I am morally bankrupt
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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