Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize