Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
