you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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