people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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