found the other keg... it's in the tree
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
