If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
