it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As shirtless as possible
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
