ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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