I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
