Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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