Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
