you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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