pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize