do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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