just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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