you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
