it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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