Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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