the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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