I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
