My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So here I am, sexting at work.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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