we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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