Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
