she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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