Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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