i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
