one might say we're banned from that church
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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