She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
