I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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