**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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