I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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