who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
