I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
