Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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