SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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