I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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