I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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