Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
