I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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