i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
