yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
