I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
