rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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