Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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