I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
