another moral hangover. fuck.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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