the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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