dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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