Dual....:-)
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
