wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
