Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
