Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
