I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
