I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.