So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
