I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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