Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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