This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
