She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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